Who Truly Decides What’s ‘Best’ for an Elder in the Family? You or Them?
It’s natural to want the best for the people you love.
Whether it’s a child or an elderly parent or grandparent, you want to see them well-off, safe, and enjoying as high a quality of life as possible. Yet, what does that mean or look like when an aging parent requires some support?
Elder care is one of the best support systems for aging men and women in the United States. However, not everyone is going to agree that they either require it or that it would be beneficial.
When you get into a contentious debate or argument with your aging mother, for example, about elder care and she is adamantly opposed to it, is there any recourse for you? Maybe you have been giving up so much of your life to look after her and you just can’t do it anymore.
You want her to be safe, you don’t want to have to worry about her every minute of the day, but what can you do? Can you make the decision for her? Or does she still hold that right?
Set aside the idea of power of attorney.
Some people, some adult children, might maintain power of attorney over their parents’ affairs. This is often done when an aging parent reaches a certain age or is struggling with certain health issues. This also may come about when a person is dealing with memory related challenges, like Alzheimer’s or other types of dementia.
If you have power of attorney for your elderly mother, you may be able to decide certain aspects of her finances, medical directives, and other issues, but does that give you the right to force elder care upon her?
Maybe yes, maybe no. The legal grounds here get tricky. But, what often gets missed is sitting down and having an honest, open conversation about this elder care topic.
How to have an open, honest conversation.
First and foremost, it comes down to listening. Your mother may be against the idea of elder care, but have you figured out why? For many seniors, it’s a lack of information. If your mother doesn’t know anything about elder care, she might lean on her misconceptions.
When you are talking over her, trying to explain everything, and debating every single point of contention, you aren’t listening. When you listen, and you show you are listening, and she knows you are listening, she will feel respected.
And often, it’s respect people want first and foremost. When she sees you respecting her rights and her decisions, she may listen more clearly and focused herself. That’s how you might very well be able to help this senior in your life recognize the inherent value of elder care.
If you or an aging loved-one is considering Senior Care in Hockessin, DE, please contact the caring staff at Macklyn Home Care today. (302) 691-3217